"Illya, wake up."

"Ugh, what happened?"

"Somebody hit you on the head, are you okay?"

"My head hurts...I...Napoleon, I don't wish to alarm you, but I don't seem to be able to see..."

"That's probably because it's dark in here, ouch! And very cramped as well."

"And where exactly is *here*? The last thing I remember is opening the trunk...oh no, they didn't?"

"I'm afraid they did. Knocked you on the head and bundled you in here on top of me before I could do anything. You know you really ought to have noticed somebody sneaking up on you like that, you must be getting old...*ouch*, there's no need to pinch me like that."

"I was just trying to ascertain the topography of our situation, Napoleon. Your knee appears to be sticking into my stomach."

"Um Illya, that's not my knee sticking into you..."

"Really Napoleon, can you not forgo thinking about sex at least long enough so that we may get out of this predicament?"

"Wait a minute, who's thinking about sex? Oh hang on, you thought *this* is..."

"Isn't it?"

"No my dear friend, this is a tire iron that I found in the trunk and was about to use to force my way out when you were so unceremoniously dumped on top of me."

"Oh...I apologize Napoleon, I should have known that you would be more professional than to take advantage of the situation that we find ourselves in."

"Don't apologize too quickly, just put your hand...here."

"That is no tire iron, Napoleon."

"I know."

"Which means that it is of absolutely no value to us at this moment in time."

"I know, but I thought it might prove an incentive to encourage you in getting us out of here."

"Why must *I* do all the work?"

"Well, apart from the fact that your hands aren't tied, you *are* the one who let somebody sneak up on him."

"I was distracted. It is not everyday that I open a car trunk and see my partner trussed up inside it."

"Excuses excuses, it's not as if you haven't seen me all tied up before. Like I said, you must be getting old."

"I notice that you have not yet told me how *you* ended up locked in the trunk in the first place."

"Ah, perhaps we should discuss that when we've broken out of here...perhaps over dinner, at my place?"

"Hmm, perhaps we should not waste time with dinner."

"I couldn't have put it better myself...hey, be careful with the tire iron."

"Napoleon."

"Yes Illya?"

"That was no tire iron."

--------------------

The End