//ENTERING THE ROOM

Step 1: Stand toward the hinge side of the doorframe, not in the center or on the side with the doorknob.//

Illya readied himself, glancing over to Napoleon. His partner nodded, hand resting over the butt of his gun. Hopefully, the room would be just as empty as it was when they left it, but in this business you never know...

//Step 2: Throw the door open quickly and forcefully so that it hits the wall behind it.//

He wondered idly if the sound of the door smacking against the wall would disturb any transient neighbours, but really, there were more important things to worry about.

Napoleon shot him a look, which he managed to interpret as 'if that wall is dented, Waverly's taking it out of our pockets'. Illya merely shrugged in return.

//Step 3: Leave the door open until you have cleared the room.//

"Do we want to give them an out?" He whispered. "I mean, if THRUSH operatives are in our hotel room, should they really have the chance to escape?"

"Wouldn't hurt to avoid a confrontation, Illya." Napoleon sighed. "After the rough day we've had, I'd just as soon anyone who's broken into our room run off without a fight."

"And without our things." The Russian added pragmatically. "Or I shoot, THRUSH or no."

//Step 4: Enter the room with your back to the wall nearest to the entry door.//

Illya went in first, his back hugging the wall, his Special drawn. Napoleon followed closely, similarly pressed to the wall. He wasn't ready to fire at anything that moved, but he had his gun out, and if the next thing to move was anything more threatening than the maid they hadn't requested, he would be more than ready to back up his partner.

//Step 5: Keeping your back against the wall, move quickly around the perimeter of the room, scanning up and down and from side to side.//

They swept the room, moving clockwise. So far, so good. Illya flashed Napoleon a brief grin. Maybe they would be lucky. Napoleon smiled back. Maybe they would *get* lucky.

Napoleon stood by the door as Illya made a sweep of the bathroom.

"Clean." He shook his head, emerging. "Come on."

//Step 6: If you are about to pass by windows, draw the curtains before you pass.//

"Cover me." Illya hissed, ducking down below the window to cross. On the other side, he found the cord, pulling the curtains closed so that Napoleon could cross without having to lower his guard-- or his gun.

"The maid must have opened them. We *left* the 'Do not disturb' sign up."

"You hope it was the maid, you mean." He said grimly. "Even if they are not here now, we have no proof they never were."

//Step 7: Next, check out any potential hiding places.//

Napoleon checked under the beds as Illya threw the door to the armoire open. Both turned up empty, and they met in the center of the room.

"Well, there goes part one." Napoleon grinned lopsidedly. "No operatives."

"Nobody here but us UNCLE agents." Illya smirked. "But who is listening?"

//Step 8: Look for surveillance devices.//

Illya closed and locked the door, and the two men made a more thorough sweep, this time looking for something much smaller than an enemy agent.

When they were both satisfied that there were no bugs, Napoleon melted against Illya with a grateful sigh.

"Long day?" The blond teased gently.

"Unbearable. Where were you?"

"At the museum, following up on my lead. The one that required my *specialized skills*." He emphasized the phrase his partner had used earlier, when he had said that Illya should be the one to follow up on the Maritime Museum's curate.

"I could have used you down at the docks." Napoleon said distractedly, his fingers playing in Illya's hair.

"Run into much trouble?"

"Only what I told you before. Some dubious workers who didn't like my nosing around."

"If you need me, Napoleon, you know you have only to call..."

"No, it wasn't anything I couldn't handle on my own. It just seems to go a lot easier with two, you know." He gave a tired smile, leading the other man over to one of the two beds. "There were two of them-- big guys-- and one of me. As far as I know, they didn't have guns. If they did, they would've pulled them. But you've got a way of intimidating people before they beat the stuffing out of me."

Illya laughed softly and kissed Napoleon's forehead. "Next time I will intimidate the dock workers, then, and you can discuss maritime history. I'm sure you know it just as well as I do."

"Mm, but we're not familiar with the same region and period." He shook his head, returning the kiss. "How about you do Hornblower and Bligh, and I'll do Melville and Cook?"

"All right." Another laugh he couldn't quite suppress.

Napoleon's spirits lifted further. He loved making Illya smile. It was so... disarming. And charming. And several more things that didn't rhyme.

"Napoleon...?" Illya tucked his head down next to the American's shoulder.

"Yes?"

"Last night, I noticed a bad spring in my mattress... I was wondering if perhaps tonight I could just stay in your bed?"

"Illyushka, you don't have to ask..." He grinned, spirits zooming straight through the roof. "You're always welcome to stay as long as you like. I *like* sleeping next to you. And waking up next to you."

"Napoleon...?" Illya snuggled up a little closer.

"Yes?"

"You know there's nothing wrong with my mattress?"

~FIN~