Action Heros Handbook
Lisitza
I.VI How to Survive in Prison When you're Wrongfully Incarcerated



Disclaimer:
This page is an unofficial site that exists only for the fun of it. All characters and situations from the television show "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." are property of Norman Felton and Warner Bros. Nothing ill is intended by this use of any television characters in these amateur efforts. Any fiction linked to these pages is the intellectual property of the amateur author who created it and is not presented here for profit.

Classification:
Slash

Author's Notes:
From the ACTION HERO'S Handbook, with help from our Illya, how to survive in prison when you're wrongfully incarcerated (and waiting for Napoleon...)- // // indicates quote.

Pairing:
IK/NS


//Step 1: Do not attempt an escape unless absolutely necessary.//

As hard as it was for him, Illya sat in his cell and waited. He knew it would be useless to try anything-- he wasn't at the top of his form, and his weapons and tools had been confiscated by expert officials. He couldn't stay, but without help, he wouldn't escape. He would be shot trying. Luckily, there was no doubt in his mind that Napoleon would find a way to save him.

//Step 2: Mind your own business.//

Thankfully, he was kept in his cell, with no roommates. Interaction with other prisoners would be dangerous. Though this prison was run in a very controlled manner, the occasional prisoner still disappeared after looking at someone the wrong way. And you didn't even have to look at a man at all to look at him the wrong way, Illya knew.

//Step 3: Be the person everyone expects you to be.//

The guard was still convinced that Illya had been behind the attempted assassination. There was no correcting these people when they were wrong, he sighed inwardly. Illy Kuryakin was, to the justice system of this miserable country, a dangerous criminal; a hitman, perhaps, or a member of the mafia.

He snorted derisively. Well, if it was dangerous mob hitman they wanted, they could have it. When the guard asked why he'd done it, Illya shrugged.

"My father was head of a powerful mafia family." He lied. "The man I shot at was one of his enemies."

Ridiculous, of course. He should never have been arrested for this crime. After all, if he'd been the one shooting, the man would be dead. As it was, the would-be assassin failed, and escaped.

//Step 4: Do whatever you have to do.//

Meanwhile, Napoleon was outside, trying to find a way in. Unfortunately, he was an obvious outsider, an American, and prison security was tight.

Illya was inside, though, his Illya, and he needed a rescue.

Napoleon checked himself over, making sure that some of the explosives he carried would not be found by any search-- barring UNCLE's own, or possibly a very good THRUSH. Then he took out his gun and fired through the window of the warden's office. He would get into that prison and to Illya, one way or another.


This page is an unofficial site that exists only for the fun of it. All characters and situations from the television show "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." are property of Norman Felton and Warner Bros. Nothing ill is intended by this use of any television characters in these amateur efforts. Any fiction linked to these pages is the intellectual property of the amateur author who created it and is not presented here for profit.