'The Action Hero's Handbook III.VI- How to Perform the Vulcan Nerve Pinch'

//Step 1: Locate your opponent's radial nerve.//

"The radial nerve," Illya lectured, pacing back and forth before the two students. "Controls the muscles of the arm. You will find the radial nerve on the top of the forearm here, two inches above the elbow."

He pointed out the exact spot on his partner's arm. Meanwhile, Napoleon looked perfectly relaxed, shirtsleeves rolled up, sitting on the edge of his desk.

Montgomery, his own arm currently being inspected by his own partner, did not look so relaxed. In fact, he looked downright nervous.

"This is more than an excersise in hand-to-hand combat, Mr. Stratford." Napoleon reminded gently. "It's an excersise in trust. You have to trust your partner not to do you any lasting damage. And later on, she will trust you to do the same."

Ilyana swallowed. "Trust him to-- Yes. Right. Trust him to..."

"See, you went pale at it, too." He grinned.

"I am always pale." She said coldly, shutting down and becoming almost mechanical.

//Step 2: Press your thumb or index knuckle into the radial nerve.//

"Now apply pressure. Ideally a steady pressure applied by the thumb. If this is not practical, a quick strike with the index knuckle, as in a punch, may be effective." Illya continued. "On Stratford... try it with the thumb. We don't wish to damage him."

"Hang on, we--" Montgomery started.

"Do as I do, Agent Lobochevski." Illya spoke, taking no note of the girl's subject. He took Napoleon's arm, finding the nerve again with a gentle stroke of the area. Once he had it pinned down, he applied the pressure gently.

Napoleon continued to sit calmly, the only break in his demeanor being a small smile flashed to his partner during the re-location of the radial nerve.

"It's nothing." Napoleon assured. "You got your lumps in Survival School. All we're ever going to do is fine-tune it a little, show you a couple of things they didn't."

"Yes." Illya tsk-ed. "They only give you the abbreviated version of the nerve pinch. It's much better if you can get in the early steps-- it makes it easier to render a THRUSH agent unconscious if they're not able to hit you while you are doing it."

"I can't move my lower arm." Montgomery said.

"So I let go?"

//Step 3: Locate the brachial plexus tie-in.//

"No, as long as you have his arm, you should hold it. If this were a quick strike, you would have pulled back, but you might as well take advantage of this sort of situation whenever you can get it." Illya shook his head. "Napoleon, are you all right?"

"I'm fine." He sighed. "You don't have to ask, you know."

"You're not as young as you used to be." Illya shrugged, grinning at the annoyed reaction. "All right, now: the brachial plexus tie-in is another big factor in controlling the arm's functions. Agent Stratford, you'll notice that you still have some feeling?"

"In the upper part, here and here." He motioned with his good arm. "I can control it, but it doesn't really do much without the rest of the arm. Maybe if I flailed around some I could hope to hit her, but..."

"This is why we like the brachial plexus tie-in." Illya smiled. It was not exactly reassuring. "Lobochevski, place your hand on Stratford's shoulder. Good, now move approximately two inches down."

He demonstrated, his own hand sliding from Napoleon's shoulder. Ilyana caught another warm smile passed between them.

"Another way to measure the distance is to go from the pectoral muscle," Illya placed his hand over Napoleon's chest and Napoleon closed his eyes, totally complacent. "Travel up one inch from the armpit. You should be at the same place."

Montgomery squirmed once as Ilyana tried the second method with her other hand. Her fingers met at the point she'd reached with the first method.

//Step 4: Use either your thumb or index finger, as described in step 2, to activate the brachial plexus tie-in.//

"Good." Illya nodded. "Now you want to do the same thing to the brachial plexus as you did to the radial. If at all possible, continue to apply pressure to the radial nerve as you dig into the brachial plexus tie-in."

Ilyana did as she'd been instructed, marvelling at how easily Solo allowed himself to be used as a teaching aid. Apparently the trust issue was one that he and Kuryakin had taken care of long ago. Though if she was going to come to any conclusions based on what she'd seen after the last mission she'd been on, they had taken care of more than that in the course of their partnership.

She wasn't sure if she had that kind of trust in her. When her mother was young, she'd lost her entire family. That was when Natasya lived in the Ukraine. She had married in Russia, to a man named Vasili Lobochevski. Ilyana had never known her father. He had either left or died, before Natasya came to America. They never knew which. Abandonment issues ran in her veins.

But Montgomery trusted her enough, even if he was a little unsure. And he was... well, not all men were deadbeats and criminals. Montgomery was-- nice. Sweet, if she could bring herself to believe it.

"Well?" The voice of her instructor brought her back to the present.

"My arm feels dead." Montgomery answered.

"Try and move it." He ordered.

Nothing happened, and Kuryakin smiled again.

//Step 5: Apply pressure or a chop to the brachial plexus origin.//

"Good. Now, you will not, I repeat, *not* be practicing the final step on your partner."

"You don't need to repeat yourself, they are agents, after all, not children." Napoleon rolled his eyes.

"I'm not sure I trust your crack team not to kill each other, Napoleon."

"Have a little faith, moy muzh."

Illya reddened. He would have to speak to Napoleon again later about not using endearments in front of the junior agents, regardless of whether or not those agents spoke the language. "Faith is your department."

"What will we be doing?" Ilyana finally asked, having waited until she was sure she wouldn't interrupt a moment.

"First, find the brachial plexus origin. It is located at the base of the neck, above the collarbone. Either side will do in this case." Again, his fingers stroked the aforementioned spot on his partner.

Ilyana couldn't recall what the word 'muzh' meant, if in fact she had ever heard it, but there was no longer any doubt in her mind. Solo and Kuryakin were something more than most enforcement teams, and quite possibly something more than most marriages.

"You can apply pressure to this point either by digging into the flesh with fingers or knuckles, or by a quick blow with the side of the hand." He mimed both actions, careful not to actually strike his partner. "This action will render the other person unconscious, and can be done by itself if there is any reason why it would be better not to immobilize the arm first. Are there any questions?"

Montgomery raised his still-functioning hand.

"Yes, Agent Stratford?"

"How long before I feel my arm again?"

---/-/---

---

This page is an unofficial site that exists only for the fun of it. All characters and situations from the television show "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." are property of Norman Felton and Warner Bros. Nothing ill is intended by this use of any television characters in these amateur efforts. Any fiction linked to these pages is the intellectual property of the amateur author who created it and is not presented here for profit.