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Action Heros Handbook
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Disclaimer:
Classification:
Author's Notes:Meant to get this up last night, but a friend sidetracked me
(I'm forcing him to read a different story of mine over, and he's
slacking). So here it is, a day late and quite possibly a dollar
short- Napoleon and Illya show you how to be READY FOR ANYTHING! // //
around quotage, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda...
Original timeline
Pairing:
This page is an unofficial site that exists only for the fun
of it. All characters and situations from the television show "The Man from
U.N.C.L.E." are property of Norman Felton and Warner Bros. Nothing ill is
intended by this use of any television characters in these amateur efforts.
Any fiction linked to these pages is the intellectual property of the amateur
author who created it and is not presented here for profit.
Slash
Nevertheless, IK is in love with NS.
'The Action Hero's Handbook IV.IV- How To Be Ready For Anything'
//Step 1: Be suspicious of everyone and everything-- but don't let on that you are suspicious.//
There was a practiced look of boredom on Illya Kuryakin's face as he scanned the airport terminal. The man in the grey flannel suit looked a little nervous... was he hiding something?
Illya thumbed through a travel guide with a small yawn, keeping the man in grey within his peripheral vision.
//Step 2: Always make a mental note of exits and entrances to any building you enter.//
Napoleon Solo moved to his partner's side, willing his legs to keep to a casual gait. If something went wrong, getting the innocents to safety wouldn't be a picnic-- too few emergency exits in this place, all of the doors on the other side of the baggage check and x-ray hassle.
//Step 3: Be aware of what's happening around you.//
Illya allowed himself to relax slightly as he felt his partner standing solidly at his shoulder. Reassuring. He relaxed a little further as the reason for the man in grey's apprehension became clear-- an overbearing wife with three unruly children had just attatched themselves to him.
Napoleon smiled softly, his arm brushing Illya's. So far, so good. It looked like they might get through at least this phase of the plan without any THRUSH interference, but he wasn't going to believe it 'til it was over-- letting your guard down was dangerous.
Something was wrong... Napoleon looked to Illya, only to see that Illya had already turned to him. They nodded to each other, agreement clear and unspoken. They had both seen it.
//Step 4: Control and utilize your fear.//
Kuryakin had long ago learned the art of focusing his adrenaline. No one truly mastered it, but he knew he came close. And he knew his partner did as well.
Napoleon. He wasn't sure whether to smile or frown. His partner was the cause of a great deal of his adrenaline. When Napoleon emerged without a scratch after doing something foolish, Illya fumed. When he emerged complete with scratches, Illya exploded at him to keep from being overwhelmed with fear. It was those moments before Napoleon emerged one way or another that the fear really took hold of him. He had harnessed it into rescue attempts in the past, that fear for his partner. He knew Napoleon often did the same. They both did it too often.
Current tension and past memories worked up into a big ball of metaphorical steam to be let off, and any second now, he would.
//Step 5: Don't get caught off guard.//
Just then, there was an accident-- a woman pulling a luggage cart ran headlong into Napoleon, her bags spilling out onto the red-and-grey carpet. Ever the consummate gentleman, Solo stooped to help.
A blow came whizzing towards him, and he caught the wrist quickly before the hand could strike him.
"Well, fool me once." He shrugged, still holding the girl's wrist.
//Step 6: If you must engage in a physical confrontation, attempt to stun your opponent with a finger gouge or throat chop and end the fight quickly.//
"Shame on you." Illya finished coolly, striking her neck.
She slumped down to the floor, lying atop the sprawled bags like a piece of luggage herself. Illya had the sudden impulse to spit on her, an impulse he found himself having more and more frequently whenever he found THRUSH minions abusing his partner. She hadn't even successfully hurt him, but she had aimed to use his chivalry against him. Despite his own cynicism, Illya loved Napoleon's sense of chivalry.
He didn't spit on the woman, but he did nudge her with his toe, a vicious look on his face.
//Step 7: Stay on the move.//
Napoleon signalled to a man at the terminal across the way, and he and Illya disappeared, leaving their attacker in the hands of the competent backup team.
Melting into the crowd, Illya shot his partner a questioning glance.
"Funes will handle the pickup, and Scott can take care of the girl." Napoleon whispered. "But we just made a bit of a scene."
Illya was still looking, and still questioning.
"She didn't even hit me, Illya."
Satisfied, he nodded and looked ahead.
//Step 8: Pick up any useful items after you've disabled your opponents.//
Scott checked over the girl's body while Funes looked through the bags. No weapons or communications devices. In fact, the suitcases were all empty. All she had on her was a false ID.
"Looks like the kind we liberated from the last THRUSH agent we caught." Scott said, with the short, bitter laugh that followed most of her statements.
"I'll go find Mr. Friedland." Funes nodded, rising gracefully.
---/-/---
Napoleon and Illya rested in their car, parked in an empty lot between the city and the airport.
"Should we wait until they report in?"
"It's probably a good idea. We might have to go back for them. There might be a problem." Napoleon ceded. He had wanted to return to their hotel room, but Illya had a point, even if he didn't give the reasons. He knew them, always knew.
"You are not comfortable." It wasn't a question.
"Well, I've been hanging around an airport for three hours, and driving the six before that." Napoleon shrugged.
"Should we wait in the backseat?" Illya whispered, leaning in close, so that his breath caressed Napoleon's ear, the side of his face and neck.
"Devious little Russian..." Napoleon chucked, unbuckling his seatbelt.
---/-/---
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This page is an unofficial site that exists only for the fun of it. All characters and situations from the television show "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." are property of Norman Felton and Warner Bros. Nothing ill is intended by this use of any television characters in these amateur efforts. Any fiction linked to these pages is the intellectual property of the amateur author who created it and is not presented here for profit. |