Author: Anne 'Lisitza' Marsh

- MFU Fanfiction -

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Napoleon sighed, head dropping down to the pillow. Illya crawled back up to lie alongside him. "Was I good?" He reached out to stroke the blond's cheek, taking a moment just to look at him, think about him, marvel over him. It was funny, how Illya could just finish doing the most explicit, acrobatic, dirty things, and then look at him through the fringe of his eyelashes and blush like a shy virgin. //Step 1: Gain your subject's trust.//

'The Hey Jealousy Affair'
Story	Summary
Part 1 Posted - 20-05-2003	Illya Kuryakin was bored.
Part 2 Posted - 20-05-2003	Napoleon's head jerked up suddenly as the door to his office opened.
Part 3 Posted - 20-05-2003	So far, dinner seemed to be going well. Illya was actually talking, a lot, his words blending seamlessly between English and Russian as he told the story of a particularly grueling day in the lab
Part 4 Posted - 20-05-2003	Illya took a deep breath. Things were not, he told himself, as bad as he had thought.
Part 5 Posted - 20-05-2003	"So," Napoleon picked up his partner's jacket, handing it to him. "What do you feel like? Anything you haven't had recently?"
Part 6 Posted - 20-05-2003	Things were going well. In fact, things were going better than well
Part 7 Posted - 20-05-2003	Napoleon was whistling as he entered the office.
Part 8 Posted - 20-05-2003	Illya looked up from his microscope as the door to the lab hissed open.
Part 9 Posted - 20-05-2003	Illya swallowed. The lump in his throat remained. A date with Napoleon. More than a date, he was going to be at Napoleon's apartment.
'Old Movies' - Prequel
Stand alone Posted - 22-05-2003	Watching old movies makes me think of Napoleon.
'How Long Has This Been Going On?'
Part 1 Posted - 5-06-2003	Illya's POV - It's a songfic, but it's more closely related to 'Hey Jealousy' than to the songfic series
'Kiss Me First'
Part 2 Posted - 5-06-2003	Napoleon's POV - Companion piece to 'How Long Has This Been Going On?'
'Unexpected Lesson'
Stand Alone Posted - 22-05-2003	She faced the class, gesturing to the screen. "Now that Mr. Solo is alone in the cell with his friend, he will undoubtedly try to escape. He will fail, of course, but let us see how thorough he is."
The First Noel
Stand Alone Posted - 03-12-2003	Illya settled down in front of Napoleon's fireplace, a mug cupped between his hands. Napoleon was next to him, their shoulders touching. The radio was playing Christmas carols, and the windows were covered in feathers of frost.
The First Thanksgiving Affair
Stand Alone Posted - 03-12-2003	Illya fumbled for words nervously as his partner watched with a smile.
The Highly Important Top Secret Mission Affair Series
'The Highly Important Top Secret Mission Affair'
Part 1 Posted - 22-05-2003	Illya Kuryakin fidgeted, looking both ways down the dark street, but it was Napoleon Solo who spoke.
Part 2 Posted - 23-05-2003	In the kitchen, Napoleon smiled. He was going to have to cook quietly now. There was no way he was missing this.
Part 3 Posted - 24-05-2003	"This isn't so bad... I can do this. After all, I've dealt with THRUSH, I've worked with explosives... changing a baby ought to be a piece of cake."
Part 4 Posted - 24-05-2003	Illya sat Claire and Micheal, now dressed in their pyjamas, on the couch, sitting on a chair facing them. Napoleon leaned against the doorframe, holding Christian in his arms and feeding him.
"Addition" - Prequel
Part 1 Posted - 25-05-2003	Napoleon eyed the box on his desk warily. "Ah! You're here!" Illya entered, smiling broadly. He peeked under the cloth that covered the box. "You didn't open this, did you?"
'The Careful What You Wish For Affair' - sequel
Part 1 Posted - 26-05-2003	Alexander Waverly sat back to enjoy what was shaping into a wonderfully dull morning. Not only was THRUSH laying low, every other potential evil was as well.
Part 2 Posted - 28-05-2003	Waverly is too calm, Napoleon isn't calm enough, and Illya undergoes torture of the foulest sort (can you tell I'm not fond of small children?), and a new subplot is begun
Part 3 Posted - 28-05-2003	Napoleon pushed further, Illya exasperated, Waverly underreacting. Meanwhile, back at the office
Part 4 Posted - 28-05-2003	Napoleon's still a little uneasy, Waverly has a plan, he's just not sharing, poor Illya continues to keep the children (moderately) happy in captivity, and meanwhile, back at HQ
Part 5 Posted - 28-05-2003	IK has to keep Princess Ilyana's sex change in mind (Go, Claire!), NS has to keep his cool while knowing only half of Waverly's plan (Go, Waverly!), and the supporting cast has gossip and litterbox duty.
Part 6 Posted - 30-05-2003	Napoleon begins to get more of the plan. Now that the story is over, Illya finds himself with an even bigger problem, and meanwhile, other things probably happen, too, but those things aren't quite so exciting
Part 7 Posted - 31-05-2003	Rescue goes down, DeLeon makes his appearance again
Part 8 Posted - 1-06-2003	IK and NS rescue Mr. Waverly. "The door swung open, grabbing the attention of the three THRUSH bigwigs. Mr. Waverly looked rather nonplussed."
Part 9 - Final Posted - 2-06-2003	Napoleon's eyes stayed on Illya as they walked back down the corridor, to the mound of paperwork that no doubt waited on his desk.
'The Define Undercover Affair' - Sequel
Prequel Posted - 5-06-2003	Napoleon repeated his daily ritual of checking the hollow chair leg for further missives from his partner.
Part 1 Posted - 5-06-2003	"Solo here." He sighed, tucking the letter away. "Ah, excellent. I have an assignment for you and Mr. Kuryakin." Waverly's voice crackled over the line.
Part 2 Posted - 7-06-2003	Illya tugged at Napoleon's hand, dragging him from the table to the bedroom, smile still gracing his lips. Napoleon made a lunge for those lips, but Illya ducked away, laughing
'The Trouble In Paradise Affair' sequel to Define Undercover Affair
Part 1 Posted - 8-06-2003	Napoleon set the bags down and signed the guest register. Meanwhile, Illya surveyed the bed and breakfast through the windows of the main office.
Part 2 Posted - 10-06-2003	Napoleon woke up under the blankets, on his side. He didn't feel Illya next to him, but he could feel the warm indentation on the mattress nearby.
Part 3 Posted - 10-06-2003	Napoleon ducked behind the main office, and stepped into the zen garden. On the other side of a small stream, there was a bench and a large gate onto nothing in particular. Sitting on the bench was Illya.
Part 4 Posted - 14-06-2003	Illya swallowed and did all he could to keep his composure. The light was shining in his eyes, and the faces of the local sherrif and his deputy were lost to the shadows. He shifted on the cold, hard metal folding chair he had been placed on and spoke.
Part 5 Posted - 06-08-2003	Illya looked over to the door of the interrogation room where Napoleon was being questioned, tapping his foot. Seeing that the door was not going to open anytime soon, he turned and moved to the window, looking out onto the street. Suddenly, he saw a face he knew, but couldn't place.
Part 6 Posted - 08-10-2003	Illya threw his clothes into the suitcase. "A bomb?" "A bomb." Napoleon nodded. "At the biggest hotel in this town?" "Technically, no. The Awhanee is in Yosemite, not Mariposa."
The "Memory" Series
'The Way We Were Affair'
Part 1 Posted - 14-06-2003	Napoleon thrust up against his partner, groins coming into contact
Part 2 Posted - 14-06-2003	Napoleon read over the latest memo, his feet propped up on his desk. Presently, Illya entered, perching on the desk's edge.
Part 3 Posted - 14-06-2003	Illya stalked into Napoleon's office, throwing his jacket down over the back of the chair. "I can't believe it! We stayed over an hour watching that dead drop, and nobody showed up!
Part 4 Posted - 15-06-2003	Illya paced the cell, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. Napoleon had been sitting on the one bunk, but he stood and came up behind his partner, placing his hands on the Russian's shoulders.
Part 5 Posted - 23-06-2003	Napoleon allowed himself to be strapped onto one of the beds. He could feel Illya watching, and a part of him wished he could just keep looking away, because he knew the pain in his lover's eyes would mirror his own.
'The Alone in the Moonlight Affair'
Part 1 Posted - 23-06-2003	Napoleon tossed and turned, reaching out for something that was never there when he opened his eyes. It was as if there was a warmth missing from his bed, from his life.
Part 2 Posted - 23-06-2003	Napoleon decided to give up before he contracted hypothermia, and turned the water to hot. "Oh... *that's* better..." He groaned, rolling his shoulders. Almost good enough to make him forget about his persistent problem.
Part 3 Posted - 23-06-2003	"All right, I'll go turn down your bed." Napoleon nodded, squeezing Illya's shoulder. He followed the blond to the door before heading back to his spare bedroom to get things ready.
'The Clothes You're Wearing Affair'
Part 1 Posted - 24-06-2003	Napoleon hadn't waited for Waverly's orders this time. After all, Waverly had just gotten back to New York that evening, and was probably still out with jet lag, not to mention the fact that it was three in the morning.
Part 2 Posted - 24-06-2003	//It seems we've stood and talked Like this before We looked at each other in the same way then But I can't remember where or when// Napoleon's mood brightened instantly as Illya entered the room. Funny how Illya could have that effect, even though he himself was brooding. He took the tea over to the sofa, sitting next to his partner.
Part 3 Posted - 24-06-2003	//The clothes you're wearing Are the clothes you wore The smile you are smiling you were smiling then But I can't remember where or when// Back in the living room, Napoleon sat down on the couch, tucking one foot up under his body, and turning to face the blond beside him. "Now what's bothering you?"
'The Amnesty Is Granted Affair' Sequel to 'The Clothes You're Wearing Affair'
Part 1 Posted - 24-06-2003	Napoleon awoke to the insistent tones of his communicator. "Solo here." He groaned. "Mr. Solo. Do you have any idea what time it is, or when you were supposed to be in my office??
Part 2 Posted - 11-07-2003	Leamas stepped into Waverly's office, heralded by the swoosh of the automatic door.
Part 3 Posted - 11-07-2003	Napoleon removed his jacket as they reached medical, flexing his shoulder experimentally.
Part 4 Posted - 11-07-2003	Napoleon took his seat, feeling terribly nervous in the presence of their superior.
Part 5 Posted - 11-07-2003	Waverly called in the doctors who had assisted Leamas in removing his agents' memories
Part 6 Posted - 11-07-2003	"Well. I assume you asked me here for a reason, Holden."
Part 7 Posted - 11-07-2003	Napoleon's mouth tasted like brandy, and beneath that, like Napoleon, and Illya melted into the kiss
Part 8 Posted - 11-07-2003	Napoleon kept his eyes on Illya all throughout dinner, putting his partner on edge.
Part 9 Posted - 11-07-2003	Once the dishes were in the sink, Illya joined his lover. "Hey, I was waiting." Napoleon grinned, stroking the blond's cheek.
Part 10 Posted - 6-08-2003	Illya placed feverish kisses up and down the length of his partner's spine, applying generous amounts of lubricant to the necessary places, distracted by Napoleon's all-too-caressable body beneath him.
Part 11 Posted - 6-08-2003	Napoleon entered his office that morning to find an unfamiliar envelope sitting out on his desk. With a small shrug, he ripped it open, pulling out a short note, and then a longer letter.
Part 12 Posted - 6-08-2003	The moles were in place, one as Leamas' new secretary, imported from his fledgeling command on the West Coast, and two more as security guards.
Part 13 Posted - 6-08-2003	//Amnesty, amnesty, amnesty is granted// Alexander Waverly looked over the three agents, his expression far calmer than they seemed to feel it ought to be.
Part 14 Posted - 6-08-2003	"I'll tell you what's obvious." April replied, irked. "You're supposed to be in medical. As in, not here, reading the Williams file."
Part 15 Posted - 6-08-2003	Donahue hefted Natalie Brunighes over his shoulder. "You two all right to take out the other guys?"
Epilogue Posted - 6-08-2003	Illya blinked back sleep, trying to orient himself. Oh, yes. The hotel. Their vacation. Waverly had insisted upon giving his agents a long weekend away after Leamas had to be moved from the holding cell to the ICU after Illya's interrogation.
'Landmarks' Series
Landmarks - Year One
Part 1 Posted - 6-08-2003	"Happy birthday, Napoleon." Illya Kuryakin whispered, kissing his partner's temple. It was early morning, and Solo had yet to wake.
Part 2 Posted - 6-08-2003	Napoleon Solo woke that morning to greet the sun streaming through a sheer-curtained French door, leading out onto a balcony just big enough for two people to stand on.
Part 3 Posted - 6-08-2003	Napoleon leaned over his partner to open the drawer, returning with a small box wrapped in green paper. They both sat up in the middle of the bed. Illya tore open the paper, then opened the box, revealing-- a ring. A simple silvery-pewtery ring, words in tiny gothic script carved around the broad band.
Part 4 Posted - 6-08-2003	Illya Kuryakin woke up to find his partner sitting over him, holding his hand. "This isn't medical..." "No, I let myself in. Like you did, on my birthday." Napoleon kissed his forehead. "This getting through to you?"
Part 5 Posted - 08-10-2003
Song Fic Series
'For Crying Out Loud'
Part 1 Posted - 22-05-2003	//I was lost, but you were found And I never knew how far down I was falling Before I reached The bottom//
'But Not For Me'
Part 1 Posted - 26-05-2003	//Old Man Sunshine, listen you Never tell me dreams come true Just try it And I'll start a riot//
'I'd Lie For You (And That's The Truth)'
Part 1 Posted - 28-05-2003	//I'd never tell you one lie, I'd never let you down I'd never leave, I'd be the one who'd always be around Baby, give me a chance//
'Waverly's Coming To Suburbia'
stand alone Posted - 24-06-2003	Parody of 'Mom's Coming to My House' by Canadian comedy troupe 'Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie'
Non Series Stories
'The Debatably Edible Affair' Posted - 06-08-2003	Another missing scene, this one a tag for Suburbia.
Action Hero's Handbook
I.I How to Secure a Hotel Room Posted - 14-10-2003	Step 1: Stand toward the hinge side of the doorframe, not in the center or on the side with the doorknob.//
I.V How to Interrogate a Suspect Posted - 14-10-2003	//Step 1: Before you begin questioning or even approach your subject, review all available information.//
I.VI How to Survive in Prison When you're Wrongfully Incarcerated Posted - 07-10-2003	//Step 1: Do not attempt an escape unless absolutely necessary.//
I.VIII- How to Tell When Someone is Really Dead' Posted - 07-10-2003	//Step 1: Poke the alleged corpse with a sharp stick or rod.//
I.XII- How to Take a Bullet Posted - 07-10-2003
II.I- How to Stop a Wedding Posted - 07-10-2003	//Step 1: Find out where the wedding will be held.//
II.IV- How to Pick Someone Up in a Bar Posted - 07-10-2003	//Step 1: Scout the room.//
II.V- How to Turn Sexual Tension Into Mad, Passionate Sex' Posted - 07-10-2003	//Step 1: Recognize the signs of sexual tension.//
III.V- How To Perform the Jedi Mind Trick Posted - 07-10-2003
III.VI- How to Perform the Vulcan Nerve Pinch Posted - 07-10-2003	//Step 1: Locate your opponent's radial nerve.//
IV.II- How to Take a Hit With a Chair Posted - 07-10-2003	//IF THE CHAIR IS MADE OF WOOD//
IV.IV- How To Be Ready For Anything Posted - 07-10-2003	//Step 1: Be suspicious of everyone and everything-- but don't let on that you are suspicious.//
IV.V- How to Win a Fight When You're Outnumbered Posted - 07-10-2003	//SURVIVING THE FIGHT Step 1: Never allow yourself to be surrounded.//
V.I- How to Evade a MiG Posted - 07-10-2003	//Step 1: Move into a nap of the earth navigation.//