Illya stalked into Napoleon's office, throwing his jacket down over the back of the chair.

"I can't believe it! We stayed over an hour watching that dead drop, and nobody showed up! This whole thing has been a-- a wild goose chase!"

Napoleon came up behind him, kneading his shoulders. "Relax, will you? Just because no one picked it up while we were watching, doesn't mean nobody's going to pick it up."

"I can't shake the feeling that it was all some sort of-- setup." He shook his head.

"Why would it be a setup?"

"I don't know." Illya sighed. He allowed Napoleon to turn his body gently, so that they faced each other. "I just don't like it, that's all."

"Suspicious little Russian." He chuckled, kissing Illya softly. "Don't worry about it."

"Napoleon, just before we left, we talked about this!"

"We talked about this--" He brushed a brief, soft kiss over Illya's cheek. "--or this?" And then a deeper one, mouth-to-mouth.

Illya pulled away. "Both. Honestly, Napoleon."

"I'm sorry, lyubov. If it's all that important to you, then I wont even kiss you in the privacy of my own office. So... are you coming over tonight?"

"I wont be able to stay, but if we had dinner together, and then a couple of drinks, it wouldn't be all that odd if I stuck around your apartment for a while, just to... talk."

Napoleon grinned. "It's a date."

Illya sat down to work on the reports, his partner looking over his shoulder.

"Napoleon, do stop breathing on my ear that way." He sighed.

"Sorry..."

"No you're not. A little room, please? Or would you like to do it yourself?"

"No, no, it's all yours." He laughed softly. "Just noticing how nice your hair smells, that's all..."

"Napoleon!" He dropped the report, exasperated. "What has gotten into you today? No, you know what, do not answer right now, because I need to get this done. Today. Oh, don't pout, Napoleon... I promised I would be over tonight, didn't I?"

---/-/---

Leamas rewound the tape, listening to it again.

"Ah-ha! Miss Rogers, call security!"

She ducked into his office, by now seriously wishing that she had accompanied Mr. Waverly to the overseas meeting. "Security, Sir?"

"Have them come here immediately. I have two agents who present security risks, and may be reluctant to be removed."

---/-/---

Napoleon was reaching for his jacket when the door burst open, and four security agents entered. Leamas followed them.

"What the--?"

"Mr. Solo, Mr. Kuryakin." Leamas nodded to them, a sneer affixed to his face. "If you will?"

"I don't understand... Are we being accused of something?" Napoleon challenged.

"The two of you are a security risk, Mr. Solo." He pulled out a small tape recorder, which the surveillance microphones had been transmitting to, playing back Napoleon's voice.

'--wont even kiss you in the privacy of my own office. So... are you coming over tonight?'

His jaw dropped, and he didn't know what to say or do in response. Illya, on the other hand, was responding. His nostrils flared, and his hands balled into fists.

"You--! You bastard, you set us up! You wanted us out of here so that you could bug this office, didn't you? That whole thing was just a-- just-- Why, I--!"

Napoleon stepped forward quickly, holding his lover back. "Illya, calm down! This isn't going to help anything..."

Leamas gestured, and the four agents moved in, seperating the men. Illya wrenched free of their grasp, following Napoleon, but they caught hold of him again, and Leamas struck him across the face.

"Now hold on just a minute!" Napoleon cried out angrily. "You're taking this too far!"

"He resisted capture. I must say, it isn't looking good for him."

One of the agents cuffing Napoleon hesitated.

"It's okay. I wont try anything." He assured in a whisper.

"I'm really sorry about this, Mr. Solo... I always liked you."

"You're doing your job. I know how hard it is when you have to 'take care of' a senior agent."

"I'm really sorry. Mr. Kuryakin, I'm sorry it happened this way."

Illya looked up, but he said nothing. He couldn't blame the kid-- that's what he was, just a kid, and probably fresh from Survival School, too-- but he was still seething over the perceived betrayal.

"Mr. Leamas," Napoleon began, working to keep his voice even. "I have to say that this is hardly gentleman-like behavior. Mr. Waverly trusted me enough not to--"

"And obviously his trust was misplaced." Leamas said harshly. "Have them held someplace safe."

"We're not going to try to--"

"Right now, Mr. Solo, I don't trust that Russian of yours as far as I can throw either one of you, and at my age, that's not too far. He's already attempted escape, and--"

"I wasn't trying to escape!" Illya shouted. "Napoleon-- I was only--"

"Mr. Leamas, he didn't even hit Johnson." The sympathetic kid defended. "I don't think he was trying to escape, just to stay with Mr. Solo."

Leamas' sneer became more exaggerated. "So very touching, I'm sure. If you men were under my permanent command, I would boot the two of you out so fast it would make your heads spin. Since I doubt Alex would appreciate my losing his most succesful enforcement team, I've got another option for you: You stay with UNCLE, and we erase the knowledge of your-- liasons. You wont have any memory of so much as discussing the possibility of sexual contact."

Illya swallowed. "I wouldn't remember that he loves me?"

"Love!" Leamas spat. "Don't talk to me about love. Agents don't fall in love, *especially* not with their partners!"

"Really?" Napoleon asked casually. "Seemed like the ideal arrangement to me."

"That's enough out of you. No, you wont remember anything about your-- your *unnatural* relationship. Johnson, Phillips, Anderson, Donahue! Take them away, make certain they're secured. I have some work to do and arrangements to make."

---/-/---

---

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